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As a straight-sized person, I sometimes get slut-shamed if I turn a guy down, but I don’t get body-shamed. Well, aside from my ex-boyfriend, who I met on Tinder and who wound up being pretty great."I feel like, in the time since I’ve been off Tinder, I’ve really gotten to a place where I’m more confident in myself, and that comes from the blog and these movements."How did you get to that place? I feel like this relationship that I was just in — he was the first boyfriend who never told me that I had to lose weight. When in reality, he just acted the way a good person should act."We prop up men who date differently-sized women as heroes, and they’ll pat themselves on the back. I follow Robbie and his wife Sarah, and I’ve loved them for a really long time. "I think for me, I’m hyper-aware of how language is used when it comes to talking about me and my body on dating sites, or when I’m at a bar, or wherever I meet another person. But the fetishization tends to come when people make assumptions about what plus-size women actually like. S., do not do, because I have a lot of food allergies."Aside from being plus, you also identify as queer."It’s funny to hear what men say when they think they’re being complimentary.I was doing a photo shoot the other day, and these guys were looking on and yelling ‘You’re beautiful!And I didn’t realize at the time, but all the men [using this service] who worked had to pay. So I went to living in the suburbs with mostly immigrant families to dating white-collar businessmen at 17-years-old. Since I was fat, these other parts of my personality had to be extra.And so many different parts of my life emerged from that one introduction to dating. So these guys wanted a young woman, of course, but I could talk like their colleagues.
One is a bigger guy — he looks like Action Bronson. We just need to be there with you."Virgie Tovar, 35, San Francisco Author & Body Image Activist Let’s talk about your dating life."I mainly rely on online dating now.